The “I have to” Curse

Tula Tzoras
4 min readAug 21, 2023

“I have to do this, do that”, obligations can drive us into the ground. When we say or think that, we don’t believe we have a choice, we simply must! We busy ourselves with all the I have tos, as they suck the joy out of life and leave us exhausted. “I have to” is an underlying cause of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and it was the cause of my own collapse into it.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is said to happen to a lot of A Type personalities. Athletes and other high achievers are most likely to experience this. When I collapsed, I had to do acting work, I had to do bread and butter work between contracts, I had to run a Global Humanitarian project, leading a group of volunteers, online to the U.N, or downloading ideas all night long. I was doing the equivalent of two full time jobs and I didn’t sleep for a year.

First, I lost my memory. It was most frightening. I would leave my home, not knowing which way to go, or visit places I knew for years and not know my way around. Everything seemed foreign. Thankfully this did not last long. Then my system shut down and I was very sick. I had to be carried to doctors, while they were at a loss. As soon as I felt better, three months later, I went right back to it and collapsed again. It was then I was finally diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, a journey which has lasted for years and taught me so much.

It taught me to manage my energy, to reassess how I spend my energy. It taught me to listen to my body, listen to myself. I found out that working on other people’s time, as an employee, was more stressful than working in my own time, doing what I love. I made adjustments to my life and lifestyle and created a life that resonates with me. I let go of struggle and found Ease and Grace.

The Best Thing You can do, is Eliminate “I have to”

Whenever you think you have to do something, find out what the driver is, behind it. Most times, you will find that you don’t really Have to do Anything you don’t want to. This is by no means an excuse not to do anything. The point here is that, nothing is worth your health and happiness. The old cliche that Stress is a killer, is absolutely true. Anything that causes us stress, will take away our joy and tire us. Here, it is worthwhile taking stock of ways you can eliminate stress…

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Tula Tzoras

Tula Tzoras is a Mentor/Coach, Author, Speaker, Actor. Founder of Areti Goddess Events, empowering women to bridge the gender gap.